Being Sexually Irresistable and the Actor

I hate sounding shallow, but when I really look back on why I got into the entertainment game it’s really all about one thing. Sex. Not the having of it, necessarily, although that is part of it. It’s actually more about being sexually irresistible. I mean, as in absolutely everyone who lays eyes on you wants to lay you immediately. I’m of course not a woman, so I don’t have the perspective where that would be a major pain in the ass. (I’m always genuinely surprised, even taken aback, when a woman flirts with me.) As a ginger man, I have never caught too many eyes, at least not in a sexual way. I’ve caught the eyes and ire of bullies (from childhood right on up to now) who hate me simply because I have a fair complexion and curly red hair. But not so much from people (male or female, I’m not a homophobe, I’ll accept attention from absolutely anybody) who are looking for a good time.

I went out of my way to become a student of lovemaking. I suppose because I have heard the phrase “chance favors the prepared mind” one too many times. I did all the reading and research that I could to become the best lover I could possibly be. (Not just watching porn…I tried to actually understand human sexuality.) This of course landed me the world’s greatest wife, so I don’t think it was a waste of time, but the reason I worked so hard to understand sex and what makes a woman sexually gratified was because I once dreamt of becoming some kind of Don Juan. I figured if I was successful as an actor, then suddenly folks would see past my horrifying red hair to the sexual dynamo that lives underneath. But I didn’t become a giant movie star, and the main reason for that is because…well, I’m not sexually irresistible. The majority of the population are not into red-headed dudes. That’s all there is to it. (And these days I’m all old and don’t feel like I’m a sexual superman anymore…doubt that I ever really was. I do try, though.)

And that’s hard, you know? I have to let go of this dream. I have to let go of the idea that one day everyone will want to sleep with me. I have to be happy with who I am. A guy who one woman is at least willing to sleep with, and a guy that does a pretty good job when she is in the mood.

I guess my main point here is that I really kind of hate Bradley Cooper.


About this entry