Again With the Reality Shows and the Actor

Here are three more ideas for reality television series starring me, the greatest actor of all time:

“Todd Makes Obvious Documentaries” – In the grand tradition of Morgan Spurlock and Michael Moore, this series is about “proving” things that everyone already knows are true. For example, in the pilot episode I could set out to prove that hot dogs are made out of rather gross stuff but still are somehow the most delicious thing of all time. Or, I could prove that a lot of times people speed up when they see a yellow light, and that can be very dangerous. Or I could prove that while women can see all these different shades of white when picking out linens and things, most men just see one color. Unlike the left-leaning Spurlock and Moore, I would appeal to wide political spectrum because it is all so very agreeable.

“Todd Dances In His Backyard” – This one would be about me dancing around in my backyard while my family isn’t home, in various states of undress.

“Todd Goes To The Movies” – This isn’t a review show or anything like that, but rather each episode the camera just follows me as I get ready to go out to the movies, drive to the theater, buy snacks, and then watch the movie. For the sake of a half hour running time, my viewing experience could be captured using time-lapse photography, that way the viewer gets to see me watch an entire movie in four or five minutes.

Good ideas, right? I’m going to wait by the door for the armored truck to show up with my bags of cash.


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