“Hey, You Suck” and the Actor

So, and you may know this, but I have this movie geek comedy/commentary pop culture podcast and video group called The Film Pigs. We make fun of the movies, mostly, and sometimes this can raise the ire of certain internet presences that boldly remain anonymous when they take it upon themselves to tell us we suck. Most recently, we did a video of our very immediate reaction after seeing the movie Drive (we always do our videos this way: we have a couple of drinks, watch the movie, then sit in a hot car with the air conditioning off and give our knee-jerk reactions without too much thought. It should be obvious that we are not serious film critics is what I’m trying to say here.) Everyone in the world loves this movie, but we did not. One of our viewers pointed out that the marketing was misleading and made Drive look like an action picture, which it most certainly is not. We may have in fact been disappointed by the movie because we were expecting one thing and got the other, but I still think it’s fair to have a problem with a movie for this very reason. Having thought about it more, I didn’t like the movie for other reasons…it is very slow and the intended underlying tension didn’t resonate for me as it has with other movies of its kind such as the extremely similar Thief, it is called Drive and there really isn’t much driving, and the climactic fight sequence is shot as shadows on a dirt parking lot–as opposed to actually seeing actors–which is again not my thing. (Also, there is a lot of stare-acting. Which can be fine, but when it feels like brooding for brooding’s sake to me then I get bored.) And I don’t think you are an asshole if this stuff is your thing, I’m just saying it’s not mine. And you are free to think I am an asshole, but really these are just subjective opinions and doesn’t that lead to a more interesting conversation than if we just agreed all the time? Anyway. We got a lot of negative comments after posting our video, most of which were actually thoughtful and helped me understand what other people saw and I didn’t. One comment was condemning, but when we opened up ourselves to a conversation with him, we all came to a nice place where he no longer hated us but simply disagreed. (He initially said that he would never watch our videos again, but ultimately said he would keep watching, he was just disappointed that while he usually agreed with us he couldn’t believe how much we disliked something he loved.) But by far the best comment was from someone who pulled quotes from our video, exclaimed, “The reviews are in!” and then credited each quote with an insult about our personal careers. One of us, Steve, writes for a television series which this person said started sucking after Steve joined the writing staff (by the way, no matter what your opinion of the show, to blame any one person for its perceived failures makes it clear you have no idea how television shows are made.) Another of us, also named Steve, is a video game designer and this angry person who loved Drive said that Steve created the worst incarnation of a particular video game franchise (again, this demonstrates a lack of clarity on how many people it takes to create one video game.) Finally, he credited me as the “fourth lead” in a direct-to-video movie, but he made no sweeping statement about whether or not it was bad, or if I was bad, it seems that pointing out that I got work in something that didn’t have studio backing is somehow shameful. (also, I was actually a fifth or sixth lead, depending on whether or not you count the leg-humping dog.) Of course, he probably works at a fast food restaurant and lives with his mom. Do I take any of this seriously? Well…no. But it is somewhat aggravating that the fact that my friends and I offer our opinions without the standard veil of internet anonymity makes it possible for a completely anonymous person with no sack whatsoever to insult us with personalized barbs. But that’s the trick, you see: if you are public with your very own self, then spineless tools can descend upon you like madmen.

I of course welcome anyone to say whatever they want about our opinions, and we can certainly be harsh with the movies we watch. So it’s only fair that people can be harsh with us. However, thoughtless comments and brazen insults don’t make a case for your opinions and feelings, which is something that we actually do even though it comes from the inside of a car without much thought. We don’t just scream, “This sucks.” We scream, “This sucks and here is why!” Any opinion that comes without reason is just knee-jerk bullshit. And insulting someone you don’t agree with is fine and dandy, and this is a free country, but you kind of come off like a reactionary idiot when you do such things. (I know, because when I was a kid I used to behave just the same way…and then I grew up. I mean, I’m still an immature schlub who thinks he is better than everyone else, but at least I take the time to think things through at least for a few minutes before I run around insulting people.) And I can only speak for myself when I say that yes, I am not as successful in my chosen field as I’d like to be, but the fact that I work at all puts me head and shoulders about anyone who is still mopping floors and living with mem-mem and pep-pep while dreaming of one day being the big star he or she most certainly deserves to be. Beyond that, just because I didn’t like the movie Drive doesn’t mean I don’t respect the work. I just didn’t like the outcome. And if what I think really bothers the wealthy people at the forefront of that picture’s making, I am very sorry. Hopefully knowing that you got my fourteen bucks to see it will help you sleep a little better at night.

I’m at odds with myself all the time given that I am loud about my cinematic opinions and I am also someone who works hard to be a part of the entertainment industry. I’m sure it will all come back to bite me in the ass. But I think more intelligent people will at least realize it comes out of a place of passion for the medium…I mean, my entire life is built on childhood dreams fueled by the movies. And I certainly know how much it hurts when someone doesn’t like your work. This is why I try to react to these movies with at least a little reservation and refrain from saying things like, “Fuck this piece of shit and everyone involved should die!” Unless of course it’s something Uwe Boll made. (Just kidding. I don’t think everyone in Uwe Boll movies should die. They should probably be locked up for a while, though.) I personally have received my fair share of terrible reviews, including a recent post on my YouTube channel in response to one of these silly videos I make which simply said, “Hey, you suck.” And you know what? It isn’t that there is some random person out there who hides behind a fake name thinks I suck that bothers me. What bothers me is I don’t know why. Because maybe this person has a really good reason why he thinks I suck, and if I knew what it was then a flaw that I can struggle to change might be illuminated.

In any event, it’s nice to know that people are listening and get riled up. That is exciting. Oh, and to that YouTube guy who thinks I suck: fuck you, you dick.

Here’s a video companion piece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdcRwQY-pDM