So, okay, I’m blogging…

I’ve been blogging about movies at www.filmpigs.com, and I thought it would be nice to talk about myself on a more personal, shamelessly self-promotional level.  I’d also like to complain about things other than the movies I see.  And you should feel as if my decision to do this is a treat for you.  You should feel special.  You should want to see me propelled into fame and riches, and you should do anything you can to make that possible.  You are so lucky to be part of my life (on a purely detached, cold technological level) and you should currently be thanking the stars for such an opportunity.

That said, here’s what’s happening in my career: 

If you don’t know, and you should because you should be obsessed with me by now, I’ve been working (meaning I’ve actually been making money) in the entertainment industry for the last decade or so.  I’ve appeared in a lot of television shows, a number of movies, and an unbelievable amount of national commercials.  I get recognized quite a bit, although people generally can’t place me, so they assume we went to school together or had some kind of one night stand.  I assure you we did not go to school together.  And while the one night stand thing is unlikely, I would like you to continue to believe that you find me sexually compelling.  Fact is, you’ve probably seen me shilling anything from office supplies to fried chicken during your favorite shows and sporting events, and most likely in fast forward because you own a digital video recorder of some kind.  In case you can’t quite recall, I’m completely awesome. 

Currently, I’ve been working on an independent movie called Fuzz Track City in which I play a private investigator named Murphy Dunn.  In the picture I look a bit like a seventies porn star.  I sport long hair, a moustache and soul patch, and I’m often wearing an incredibly heavy leather coat and a wool cap despite the fact that the story takes place in Southern California in June and July.  I’m a terrible drunk in the movie as well (not really a stretch.)  The writer/director/producer of the movie, Steve Hicks, wrote the part for me, and while at first I thought this was incredibly flattering I realize now that casting me in the lead was actually an act of passive aggression.  I wear a wig, which it turns out is a horribly painful thing to do, given that after your hair is tied up into little balls with elastic bands, the make-up girl jams bobby pins through the wig and into your hair balls which creates a constant yanking sensation until the wig is finally removed, as if someone is pulling on your hair all day long.  Between the wig, the jacket and cap, whatever the outdoor temperature happens to be is increased by at least twenty-five degrees.  I often feel as if I can’t breathe.  And I’m doing this for “deferred pay” which is a fancy way of saying “no pay.”  But don’t get me wrong, I’m quite grateful for the work.  In fact, this marks the first time I’ve openly whined about the physical stresses.  You see, I’m getting to play a dark character (however funny) who attracts multiple women, is a brilliant investigator, and can punch out two guys with one right hook (!) which are not things I normally get to do.  The script is absolutely brilliant, and has attracted a number of incredibly talented individuals willing to work for nothing.  That is the strength of a great story!  What we’ve shot so far looks quite good, as if millions were spent as opposed to the shoestring budget we’ve been working with.  And get this, Dee Wallace plays my love interest (or one of them.)  I get to go to bed with E.T.’s mom!  How many people get to say that!  Only, like, maybe six or seven.  Eight, tops.  I can’t give away too many of the plot details because the movie is filled with all these great twists and turns that I just don’t want to ruin.  Rest assured, it’ll be both exciting and funny, maybe even touching in places, and I can’t wait to see it cut together and turned on the world.  I’m really, really proud of it.  And I can’t think of the last time I felt that way about a project as an actor.  Usually I’m only moderately satisfied.  (Of course, artistic frustration is assuaged by a paycheck.  Seems it’s always one or the other, but once this movie is out there I would not be surprised if that turned around for me.)  I’m not known for positive thinking, but this movie has changed that about me.  I mean, shit, I’m blogging for crissake.

Currently, I’m mostly broke.  I shot two national commercials this spring, but neither have starting airing which means no residual checks paying for the mortgage.  For the first time in ten years, I’m collectng unemployment.  It’s ridiculous.  I just bought this house for my family and me six months ago, too.  If that’s not Alanis Morissette irony, I don’t know what is.

So that’s it, my first ever personal blog entry.  How did I do?  Well, I kind of feel like I’ve done too much complaining on this one, and if it’s been a drag to read, I apologize.  But I’m trying to be honest.  And honesty generally equals incessent whining with me for some reason.  I promise to do better.  I promise, I promise, I promise.

I hate making promises.  It’s stupid.

Lots of love, Todd